I have life envy. I met a girl last week who has been in Amsterdam for five minutes and already speaks far more Dutch than me, she has two fun jobs, lives on a houseboat and never shops at supermarkets. Oh and she is nearly ten years younger than me. Like I said envy. I don’t know why I get like this because in truth I know I have a great life, a fantastic man, nice apartment, good (ish) job, great cd collection, some fancy shoes and great friends. But meeting this lovely girl has niggled at me all week. I have now been in Amsterdam for seven years and it made me wonder if I have done it right. Did I miss out on something? I still know hardly any Dutch people, my language skills are limited to restaurant ordering and mumbling and I work in a completely different city. But then last night as I was tidying away our wedding rings I thought about the life I am about to have in Amsterdam, the one where I marry a man that I never would have met if I hadn’t come here. The friends not Dutch but from all over the place that I never would have met and I decided that I just did it differently.
Monday 1st September was my seven year anniversary in Amsterdam and I still love the city, I arrived here fresh out of university and broke. I was joining my long term boyfriend but it all went horribly wrong. He left me but I clung on to my life in Amsterdam, I had nowhere to live and about three friends but I am still here. I love this city.
I used to suffer really badly from life envy. I’m not exactly sure when it passed but now when I meet people who would’ve inspired envy in the past I find them inspirational. And I think that I’m doing a pretty good job with my life as it is. It sounds to me like you’re doing a great job with yours too.
Red – that comment made me smile! I am doing a pretty good job and have been inspired to step up my dutch because the girl so that is a good thing!
There are so many times that I have met a person whose life seemed perfect from afar. That is, my version of perfect. And I thought, I am smart and intelligent so why don’t I have that life. It took me long time to realise (and it’s still work in progress) that thinking on those lines would just make my life more miserable. But my life is about the choices that I have made under whatever circustances. Some good and some bad. But I have learnt a lot from them and am still learning.