One major reason for that is that I wanted to pay for it all ourselves, in fact we will not be paying for it all ourselves but we are paying for almost all of it. Anyway I felt that any money given should be a gift. A gift. In fact so much did I insist on this that I am making my Mum give me her gift on the wedding day. Mean, yes but a well thought out strategy.
Since we picked a date my mother has called me nearly every day, usually at work to discuss some vital/trivial detail of the wedding. She loves to throw a party and is very opinionated but totally not organised and I really didn’t want her planning everything. I haven’t let her choose anything but have kept her informed of decisions made, in general she has been fabulous about it all. Because she isn’t paying she has managed to keep most of her opinions under her fascinator.
I didn’t want a bouquet, she took a deep breath and accepted it, I didn’t want a proper wedding dress, she was not amused but was pleased with my final choice, declaring it exactly the dress she had imagined! I didn’t want a cake, she accepted that, I didn’t want morning dress, she accepted that Mr. Rigby would look like the artful dodger. But I did want black shoes.
Black shoes, yes, a black and white wedding, I am wearing white but with a black shrug thing and I thought black shoes would look very nice. Meltdown. She went into complete meltdown, tears and all. Apparently black shoes would just be my way of embarrassing her, it would look ridiculous and she would not be the only one thinking it. She was way way over the top in fact she was so insane that it had the effect of making me very calm. She did apologise the next day in a round about way that I recognise as they way I apologise, but the seed was sewn. So at the weekend I went off to buy my shoes, not black, just sparkly. I didn’t want my mother to hate something so violently that I had picked and I certainly didn’t want to upset her so I thought fine no black, it is the least I can do for her.
On Monday I told my mother about the shoes I was hoping for a simple how lovely what she actually said was “I knew you would realise black was ridiculous in the end”
Bloody typical the one thing I did specifically for her. Luckily I love my shoes or I may have cried.