I am finally the proud owner of a winter coat and just in the nick of time too, it is absolutely freezing here at the moment! Now I went all the way to London to buy this coat as I am a midget in the land of giants and I am quite buxom ,well too be honest I am a bit chunky all over. The shopping trip was planned with military precision, I had been on-line and picked a few nice looking ones and I approached Oxford Street with a promise to the talented one to only be one hour maximum.
It was horrible, mid November in Christmas shopping madness was not part of the plan, I opened the doors to House of Fraser and it honestly looked like a jumble sale with garish decorations and scary heavily made up women spraying stuff at me, I saw fear creep on to The Talented Mr. Rigby’s face.
I bravely soldiered on and tried on roughly 12 million coats, none of which were the ones I had looked at and dutifully printed out for my shopping file (yes I am that anal) but to my horror none of them would do up. So I sneakily started trying on a bigger size and then I found one, purple with a belt, I put it on and walked to the odd looking mirror. It was miracle, I looked slim, thin even with a clearly defined waist, why this coat was magic. But then I looked again and I thought to myself wow I even look taller, I twirled and twirled deliriously happy with my magic slimming and lengthening coat. On the third twirl I noticed a girl trying on a coat at another mirror. Her mirror looked very different to mine, it wasn’t shiny or kind of convex like mine. Then it dawned I was standing in front of one of those fairground mirrors that distort the real you. I sneaked up to the proper mirror to check myself out. The coat was not magic and I was still short and fat. And worse, now I was inconsolable. The Talented Mr. Rigby tried to help by fetching new coats for me but I was in quite a strop by then. Then out of the corner of my eye I spotted an indigo coloured coat that looked like it may hide all my lumps and bumps, so I bought it quick as a flash and then went to the pub for a pint and a packet of cheese and onion crisps.
Hehe oh that really made me laugh 🙂 And having seen the final coat I can honestly say you look stunning in it!
That was hilarious.
What more could a girl ask for, a new coat, love, a pint and some cheese and onion crisps?
I hope The Talented Mr. Rigby flashed his plastic since you were in such a state!!!!
Thanks Conortje!!
Eliie he didn’t get out his plastic but he did buy me a lipstick so I can’t complain! And I have serious adddiction to cheese and onion crisps and use being in the UK as an excuse to eat millions of them!
Tayto cheese and onion are the only reason I have never left Ireland. I couldt live without them.
a good coat that’s lovely too? most fortunate girl, sugar! 😉
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