Archive for January, 2008

Ask the dust

This weekend I had my good friend Tina Molina to stay and as she is building a house we were looking at her plans over tea and toast. I was quite chuffed actually because she was asking my opinion about furniture and where things should go and I felt very stylish indeed. Although over the course of the conversation it became clear that I have OCD (I was horrified that she will not be having a cupboard fitted for coats) and a worrying aversion to houseplants. I have absolutely no logical explanation for why I don’t like a houseplants but they just creep me out a bit. It is odd because I love flowers and have them all over the place but plants just make me think of insects and dirt!

Anyway while we were happily discussing where the electrical outlets could go, Tina Molina mentioned that she would also have sockets in all the rooms for the vacuum cleaner. I thought this was a good idea because you need to be able to plug in the Hoover without moving furniture, she smiled at me and said no no Tallulah they are sockets for a vacuum hose, you plug the hose into the wall and all the dust is collected in the shed. I was in AWE!! This sounded like a fabulous idea and this morning I looked it up and they really do exist. Has everyone heard of these, never ever had I heard of them but here they are for everyone to find out about. I want one, who cares that my apartment is only tiny and I don’t have a shed to dump the dust in. I want one.

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I don’t sleep very well in fact I have two patterns either I wake up on the hour every hour or I wake up between 3 and 4 am only to fall asleep again 30 minutes before the alarm goes off. I hate not sleeping, it makes me cranky, paranoid and edgy. In fact it got so bad this week that when the tram was 20 minutes late on my way home from work that I just burst in to tears. Completely irrational and luckily The Talented Mr. Rigby was with me to save me looking too stupid!My Dad is just the same, he averages about four hours sleep a night. When we had dogs he used to get up and take them for long walks now he watches his portable DVD player in bed in the faint hope that he will go back to sleep eventually. I have no idea what to do about my nocturnal habits at the moment I just lie there and hope the talented one and his breathing /snoring will lull me back to sleep. It is not working.

However on the plus side it does give me ample time to run over useless worries in my mind and make mental lists. My night time worries range from what food I need to buy for friends coming to dinner, did I turn off the cooker, how an earth will I find away to sit my divorced parents and their partners together without offending anyone at the wedding, where will I find a wedding dress that doesn’t look like a wedding dress, what will I find to blog about and why does everyone else’s life sound so exciting in their blog while mine does not and it goes on and on and on.

I have tried many ways to solve this in the past. I have a fancy sunset/sunrise alarm clock , earplugs, sleep mask – yes I know that counteracts the benefits of the clock but I was desperate, lavender baths, warm milk and last night I just settled for three large glasses of red wine and warm milk with amaretto and I didn’t wake up till 4.30. With 5 and half hours under my belt I feel like a new woman!! However as I don’t think boozing my way to sleep every night is the best plan I have decided to try some new things that I have found on the net.

Some of them do seem a bit odd like “Never stay awake in bed for longer than 30 minutes, have a list of boring/unpleasant tasks beside your bed, get up and do something from this list” Does that mean I have to get up and clean the toilet in the middle of the night? But my personal favourite was “To get better continuous sleep you may need to temporarily deprive yourself of sleep” Hello!! I am not sleeping how will more not sleeping help?? If you have any nicer suggestions than these I would be more than happy to hear them. I have to go in search of more caffeine now.

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water water everywhere

Like everybody I was sick this week, on Friday I decided to leave work early and come home and relax. So after the big commute home, that is never fun and even less so when you are attempting to cough up your lung, I arrived home and immediately started running a bath. I put on my lovely red fleece dressing gown that makes me look like Santa and started pouring oil into the bath. Then the door buzzer went, which I ignored. But it went again and so eventually I answered. It was the waterboard here to change the water pump for the building. So I had to go downstairs dressed like Santa and open the door to the work man who then gave me a very long description of what he was going to do while I coughed and spluttered away. I admit some of the coughing was for show as I wanted him to know why I was wearing a dressing gown at 2pm in the afternoon. Anyways it turns out he was shutting off the water so I had to stop my bath and the washing machine and wait. It was an hour and half later. He rang the bell again and I trundled back downstairs, he once again showed me how to turn off the water. I went back upstairs and started to run a new bath, as I turned on the taps, the pipes started to groan and grumble and eventually the water spluttered out. It was the colour of mud, the washing machine was restarted and that water too was the colour of mud. I felt like having a little cry instead I went to bed in a strop with my cough medicine.

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Beach Life

There is a TV documentary on tonight about Sandbanks in Poole which is where I am from and although I will not get to see it because it is on ITV and I don’t even get BBC (don’t ask -stupid provider – everyone in the Netherlands gets BBC except us!) I am excited and worried about it!On the ITV site is is billed as looking at Dorset‘s mega rich, a kind of St.Tropez for England. Now I often boast that Poole is the second largest natural harbour in the world and that Sandbanks is the second most expensive piece of real estate in the world but I am not sure if I want home to be seen as the British St. Tropez but more importantly I don’t want people to think that is how I grew up, admittedly my folks did not own a house there it was a few miles away on a housing estate so  I suppose it is an inverted kind of snobbery, but to me Sandbanks is just the beach where I went everyday in the summer before the chore of having to work all summer set in, the beach I went to watch the sun go down after work and the place I often got pissed on cheap beer not the place of flash cars, wine bars and trophy wives. In fact Sandbanks is so much a part of my teenage years that it is where I wanted and will be exchanging my vows, overlooking the sea, in winter, the way I like my beach best.

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Help Needed!!!

The date for the wedding is set for November 1st and the deposit is paid so I guess now I really need to start organising!!

So important things first I need suggestions for a great first dance, could be quite upbeat and The Talented Mr. Rigby is a great big show off so dancing rather than shuffling is the order of the day.

Help me please!!

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Happy New Year

I actually feel a bit like this is the first and the beginning of the brand new year. I think that has something to do with feeling quite rubbish on the actual new years day and not getting back to dear old Amsterdam until yesterday. Christmas and New Year went past in a flash of food and wine and many many motorways , I think I covered about 1000 miles in my Mum’s little car and will be happy not to drive for at least another year. I have eaten so much food that I am now down to only two outfits that fit (and one of those is a massive jumper and stretchy pants) so the weightwatchers books have come out and I am busy thinking myself thin.

I had some rather spectacular drunk moments over the festive period and I seem to have developed a new habit of losing control of my limbs, the day after boxing day in a giggly drunken moment I managed to get stuck on the toilet – being short, my feet often do not touch the floor and with my tights and knickers round my ankles I just found it impossible to jump off the toilet, it was very very classy. But that episode does not even come close to me falling off the taxi seat twice in Ireland, then tripping, hitting my head on the door frame and then passing out on the stairs. I was put to be by a friend who was a paramedic and felt very very rough for the next day or so. I have now given up alcohol for the rest of January.

The start of 2008 has not been too spectacular though as I managed to lose the stone from my engagement ring and my dear Reginald Perrin passed away. He was my darling hamster and had lived for so long that I had started to think he would never go but it seems he went very peacefully in his sleep all curled up in a little ball. The talented Mr. Rigby buried him for me under the giant gerbera plant so that when it flowers I can think of him.

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