So I finally got round to doing one of my Miranda July assignments, I picked number 14 – Write your life story in less than a day, now as usual I did not read the assignment details properly so it isn’t quite what they asked for but hey it is my blog I can make the rules!
Life Story
I was born in 1975, two weeks overdue, in the Louise Margaret hospital. My middle name is Louise we moved three months later and I kept on moving after that. By the time I had got to secondary school I had lived in three countries and 10 houses. My first memory is hearing the opening credits of the ten o’clock news and wandering downstairs to find that my parents had gone out. I put on my coat and walked to my friends house unbelievably her mother sent me home alone, my parents were actually only next door for a few minutes and were pretty scared when they saw I was missing. I was 4.
When I was 5 we moved to a flat and I was terrified that Father Christmas would not find me because we had no chimney, when I woke up on Christmas day my dad had made footprints in the snow to make it look like Father Christmas had climbed over the balcony. It was one of the most magical experiences of my life but my dad doesn’t remember it so perhaps it didn’t happen.
I am an only child but spent most of my summer holidays in France with my cousin who was also an only child (until she was 10) I bossed her around all the time and usually made sure she got the crap parts in our plays. I think this is proof that I would have made a bad big sister. I always wanted an older brother though so had an imaginary one called Robert, he was handsome and sporty and he always introduced me to his friends. I think my dad would have been very proud of him.
I had a happy childhood and when I look back at it the overwhelming colour is yellow, warm summer sunshine yellow. In the photos I never seem to have any clothes on and appear to be constantly in water. I still love the water and whenever I feel ill or down it is in the bath you will find me. I thought my mum was the most beautiful woman in the world she had long blonde hair, red nails and red lips; she still is the most beautiful woman in the world.
I liked school because I liked to see my friends and although I did well I always felt thick, I wanted to be an artist but got very low grades in art so studied to be an art teacher in primary school instead. I quit, I also quit my next degree. I went travelling to Australia and came back after a weekend, the same crew who flew out where on my return trip, I was mortified and knew that I would regret it the rest of my life.
My parents split up 2 months before my 21st birthday after 24 years of marriage it was the single hardest thing I have had to cope with and I am proud of how we all did. We are still a family but a bigger one now.
I went back to university at 23 and paid for it all myself, I graduated at 26 and moved to Amsterdam to become a grown up and live with the love of my life, unfortunately he was already in love with someone else.
I have had three serious relationships one of three years, one of nearly eight and the one I am in now. The middle one broke my heart; this one has mended it and made it bigger.
The Adventures of Tallulah Bloom and The Talented Mr. Rigby 