Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

I have life envy. I met a girl last week who has been in Amsterdam for five minutes and already speaks far more Dutch than me, she has two fun jobs, lives on a houseboat and never shops at supermarkets. Oh and she is nearly ten years younger than me. Like I said envy. I don’t know why I get like this because in truth I know I have a great life, a fantastic man, nice apartment, good (ish) job, great cd collection, some fancy shoes and great friends. But meeting this lovely girl has niggled at me all week. I have now been in Amsterdam for seven years and it made me wonder if I have done it right. Did I miss out on something? I still know hardly any Dutch people, my language skills are limited to restaurant ordering and mumbling and I work in a completely different city. But then last night as I was tidying away our wedding rings I thought about the life I am about to have in Amsterdam, the one where I marry a man that I never would have met if I hadn’t come here. The friends not Dutch but from all over the place that I never would have met and I decided that I just did it differently.

Monday 1st September was my seven year anniversary in Amsterdam and I still love the city, I arrived here fresh out of university and broke. I was joining my long term boyfriend but it all went horribly wrong. He left me but I clung on to my life in Amsterdam, I had nowhere to live and about three friends but I am still here. I love this city.


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I have been a bit rubbish with the old blog for a while now, I think partly because I ran out of steam and partly because I actually began to find the whole blog thing quite terrifying. It suddenly seemed there was pressure to write, to be funny and to have exciting things happen in my life. Trouble is I am not funny at least not regularly and not that many exciting things happen to me mostly because, now shush don’t tell anyone – I have started to settle down.

Actually I am not quite sure what it is but I have found myself changing over the last few months and have a had a bit of a personality crisis. Sixteen years as party girl rarely to be found without a drink (mostly wearing my drink to be honest) and talking up a storm takes its toll on a girl.

It all started when I got engaged and started to discuss family and the next big move and I suddenly realised it was not just all about me anymore, quite a frightening thought for a 33 year old only child I can tell you, it also felt a bit difficult to discuss as all my friends bar one are still resolutely single. It now feels hard when they moan about the lack of men and the boom boom of that biological clock, I feel like I shouldn’t have a say now.

But I am going to have my say, there is someone out there for all of us, it happens when you least expect it and maybe it won’t happen before the biological clock ticks the final tock who knows but surely if there is someone to love this neurotic, loud, occasionally obnoxious short tubby girl there are many men out there to love my taller, witty, intelligent, solvent and damn attractive girls. (and boys)

Back to my knitting now.

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